


long live all the magic we made

by csmickey



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, also you can pry stoner mendel from my cold dead hands, and, and him and marv's bathroom therapy sessions, i'll add other warnings later if they come up, idk how detailed i'll go bc idk how comfy i am writing but, idk there's a lot going on in this fic, marvin and trina are only a thing at the beginning, obvi for plot reasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-14 09:37:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11780421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csmickey/pseuds/csmickey
Summary: They had stuck him in the middle of the backseat, so he was stuck between his girlfriend and his best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend, or Whizzer. The feelings of thighs flushed together with his on both sides was driving Marvin crazy. The best assumption was that he loved to be close to his girlfriend, but a part of him was drawn to the warmth radiating from the boy next to him and he didn't like it one bit. He could tell this Whizzer Brown would be a problem for him.alternatively, /the high school au no one asked for but i wrote anyways/





	1. step out of the sun

**Author's Note:**

> this is just the beginning of this fic so this chapter is a lot of introducing relationships and how i view them as their teenage selves, but i promise it'll get,,,, probably angsty later and probably a lot less boring than this chapter
> 
> there's a description of a panic attack/vomiting in this chapter so if that's gonna make /you/ panicky please be careful reading this, but otherwise i hope y'all enjoy it

Marvin was more than ecstatic when Charlotte excitedly told him about the cute blonde girl who she’d been tutoring in French asking her out. While he was happy for her, he couldn’t help but feel a sting of jealousy; he was happy for her as a contrast to his own failing relationship that he was only feigning interest in at this point. He knew that it was simply because he wasn't attracted to his girlfriend, Trina, but it took a lot of strength to even admit that to himself. He had only asked the poor girl out under pressure from his parents; now their relationship only consisted of occasionally holding hands in the hallways and bringing her to a family dinner every now and then to prove that “ _ yes, Mom, she really still likes me.” _

He felt bad for stringing Trina along, but at this point he wouldn't have known how to end it even if he got up the guts to do it. So, that's how he ended up in a packed car with his girlfriend, his best friend, his best friend’s girlfriend, and his best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend on the way to their Junior year Homecoming Dance. They had stuck him in the middle of the backseat, so he was stuck between his girlfriend and his best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend, or Whizzer.

The feelings of thighs flushed together with his on both sides was driving Marvin crazy. The best assumption was that he loved to be close to his girlfriend, but a part of him was drawn to the warmth radiating from the boy next to him and he didn't like it one bit.

“Are you feeling the heat back there?” Charlotte’s girlfriend’s voice broke Marvin out of his thoughts, leaving him shocked at the question. Yes, he was quite flushed from thinking about the people to either side of him, but he was bewildered as to how Cordelia had noticed that from the driver’s seat. When none of the trio in the backseat answered, Cordelia clarified, “The heat? As in the A/C? Is it reaching you guys?”

“ _ Oh.  _ Oh, yeah, it's warm, we’re fine.” Marvin replied, a red flush growing up on his cheeks at his misunderstanding of the question. When Whizzer and Trina both nodded in agreement, he relaxed significantly with a sigh of relief, willing his thoughts not to drift back to where they had been interrupted, despite the natural heat radiating from the boy to his left. It astounded Marvin how naturally warm Whizzer was with the distinct coldness on his right from Trina. Marvin had to acknowledge that his girlfriend looked stunning in her baby pink, tulle dress, but it didn’t make him  _ feel _ anything, as much as he wished it did. Looking at her like this caused an uncomfortable feeling to form in his stomach, wishing he could appreciate her beauty and that she could make him feel something, anything, but she couldn’t. Especially in opposition to the man on his left who had stirred up something Marvin couldn’t quite identify as soon as he’d slid into Cordelia’s pink Ford Fiesta.

“Are you excited?” Trina interrupted his thoughts again, low enough that only Marvin could hear her over the music playing from Cordelia’s speaker, lacing her cold fingers with his own. Marvin gave her a relatively fake smile, squeezing her hand with his frigid fingers.

“Of course, it’ll be… tons of fun.” He nodded hesitantly, letting their intertwined hands rest on his own leg until they pulled into the parking lot of Franklin High School and the three of them piled out of the backseat, Marvin helping Trina out of the car and linking arms as they all walked towards the high school.

It didn’t take long for Marvin to start panicking over one thing or another. By the midpoint of the dance, he’d received a text from his mother reminding him “not to do anything she wouldn’t”, while also subtly hinting that they didn’t expect him home that night. His mind was heavy with the thought of whether Trina expected anything from him, the fact that Cordelia’s friend kept staring at him from the side of the room, and the AP US History test that was looming over him the next Monday. He faux-confidently strode over to where Trina was getting a drink and kissed her delicately on the cheek, telling her he would be right back and that he was going to the bathroom. With a deep breath to calm the dizzying rush of anxiety to his head, he suppressed the urge to run and calmly made his way to the bathroom.

It was only once he had gotten into the bathroom that he let his resolve crumble and the crippling anxiety hit his stomach at once. He staggered towards the stall, using his arm to support himself against the side of the stall as he forced a cough through his dry throat above the toilet. His head was spinning and his stomach was tied into knots and  _ he couldn’t breathe, holy shit, he couldn’t breathe.  _ After a couple minutes of him standing there, dry heaving over the toilet, he finally managed to make himself vomit the little bit of punch and snacks from Cordelia’s house. He took a shaky hand to push the sweaty hair from his forehead and leaned against the wall for a couple seconds, trying desperately to let himself calm down. With a heavy sigh, he pushed himself off the wall and walked out of the stall, only to be met with a stranger staring him down. Either he’d come in after Marvin or he simply hadn’t noticed him in his heightened anxiety. After staring at him for a second, he recognized him as the weird stoner kid from all of his AP and Honors classes. To tell the truth, this kid really pissed him off. Everyone knew he was stoned throughout every single class but he still had a 5.0 GPA. Marvin was struggling to keep his GPA above a 4.0 at all, and this kid didn’t care at all.

“Mendel…” Marvin searched his brain for the kid’s last name, but he was so tired from his brush with panic that his name was completely lost on him. He let out a small sigh when he glanced down and noticed the blunt smoking in Mendel’s right hand.

“Weisenbachfeld. You’re Marvin Brandt. You okay?” Mendel asked, gesturing to the stall, indicating that he had clearly heard him vomiting his guts up. Marvin shook his head and walked towards the sink, turning the water on and splashing it on his face.

“Peachy keen.” He popped the ‘P’ and grabbed a paper towel to wipe his face clean, turning back to face the other boy in the bathroom. “I’m just having, like, a total mental breakdown over school and questioning every single relationship in my life, but I’m doing great.” Marvin let out a large sigh and faced the sink again, bracing his arms on either side of it as he felt the panic rising in his chest again. If Mendel noticed that his breathing was heavier and the sweat had re-appeared on his brow, he didn’t say anything about it.

“Hug it out, bro.”

“What?” Marvin’s first response was to step away from the other boy, but Mendel opened his arms with a shrug and Marvin’s curiosity got the best of him. He hesitantly stepped forward and let Mendel put his arms around him. He smelled strongly of weed and some kind of hair gel, but Marvin did find the hug strangely relaxing.

“Look, dude, you’re tense. You’re stressed out. That’s totally normal. You’re clearly smart and you clearly know what you’re doing when it comes to the classes you’re taking. We’re in, like, all of the same classes, I get it. And I don’t know what’s going on in your personal life, but that’s something you gotta deal with if you wanna focus on school. I know you’re dating that, uh, Trina beauty, but if that’s not working, that’s your responsibility to evaluate and deal with. Just take a deep breath and go enjoy the dance, buddy.” Mendel kept his hands on Marvin’s shoulders as he spoke, only lifting his arm to take a drag off his blunt, and courteously blow the smoke away from Marvin’s face. Marvin awkwardly thanked him and quickly made his escape out of the bathroom, feeling strangely comforted but severely perplexed by the interaction with his classmate who he barely knew.

Marvin did, however, take the boy’s advice to heart. Even if he couldn’t quite figure out how to deal with his lack of affection for Trina, yet, he could force himself to enjoy homecoming and have fun. However, when he sidled up next to Trina and asked her to dance, he was met with an icy glare.

“So, now you wanna spend time with me?” She questioned as she crossed her arms over her pink tulle dress.

“Um, well…” Marvin wasn’t exactly sure why he was being met with this coldness from his girlfriend, but he did know that it should’ve been making him a lot more upset. Trina didn’t let him finish his half-formed thought.

“You seem to be more interested in  _ Cordelia _ and her friends, anyways…” Trina looked across the dance floor, where Cordelia and Charlotte had pulled Whizzer out to dance and they seemed to be making fools of themselves. But they were having fun. And at least Trina had one part of what he was interested in right.

“I’m -- I’m not… I don’t…” Marvin was so surprised to be stumbling over his words, and his eyes were caught on the two undone buttons on Whizzer’s chest and he had to swiftly force his gaze away. He couldn’t believe he’d even let the thought of another man like that cross his mind. “I love you, Trina, darling.” He found himself lying easily, taking her hand into his with an uneasy smile. The guilt swarmed his stomach and he knew he’d regret this later, but right now he just wanted those cold eyes to be aimed anywhere but at him. She sighed and he felt a small amount of relief.

“Fine, we’ll dance…” She used their joined hands to drag him onto the dance floor, stopping towards the middle and bringing her hands to rest on his waist. “Just…  _ stop  _ staring over there, Marv.” She sighed once more as he brought his hands up to rest around her shoulders, feeling the guilt well up in his stomach once again as he glanced at the other man with his girlfriend so close. He could tell this Whizzer Brown would be a problem for him.


	2. you held your head like a hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without a single thought going through his head, he grabbed his teammate’s shoulder and before he had time to process what he was doing, his fist had already collided with the other boy’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning in this chapter, a bully uses the f slur and also just general bullying.

Most of homecoming had been a nightmare for Marvin, but he’d managed to at least salvage the end of it despite his new conflicting feelings. He knew he cared about Trina and didn’t want to hurt her, but he also knew that he didn’t love her and maybe never would. He’d spent the months that they’d been together convincing himself that if he just spent more time with her, got to know her, got  _ used to her _ , he would love her eventually, but he was now sure that wasn’t going to happen. He had to man up and tell her how he felt. His only problem was that every time he tried to talked to her, his heart would start racing faster and he would stumble over his words and he told himself that  _ he couldn’t hurt her _ . 

So, he did what he did best and ignored the problem, hoping that if he ignored it enough it would go away on it’s own. He threw himself into his schoolwork and made the best grades he had made in the school year. He focused enough on his classes that he had an excuse not to talk to her, or to cancel dates, and she didn’t question him about it. She would say,  _ “you’re stressed, sweetie, it’s okay. Take a nap, we’ll do the date tomorrow.” _ and he would cancel the next night, too. When he wasn’t throwing himself into his studies, his mind was occupied with thoughts of Whizzer Brown. The only things he really knew about the boy were that he was Cordelia’s best friend and that he played baseball. Despite his lack of knowledge, Whizzer fascinated him. Marvin was having trouble identifying the feeling that Whizzer caused him, but it was causing him great distress and he really wished the boy would leave his thoughts.

Apparently, he couldn’t get rid of him in real life, either. As he was leaving from football practice, he saw the taller boy sunk near a set of lockers. As he got closer, he realized that one of his teammates from the football team was standing above him; he also realized that Whizzer didn’t look the least bit comfortable. Marvin’s heart rate shot up when he saw his  _ friend _ grab Whizzer by the collar of his shirt. When Marvin walked closer, he heard the tail end of a sentence and felt his entire body stiffen with anger.

“Whatever, fag.” The other boy shoved Whizzer back into the lockers behind him, letting Whizzer slide down the lockers, curling in on himself, and Marvin felt his feet moving forward on autopilot, not of his own volition. Without a single thought going through his head, he grabbed his teammate’s shoulder and before he had time to process what he was doing, his fist had already collided with the other boy’s face. With a curse, his teammate sauntered down the hallway, leaving Marvin in his wake and in shock. It wasn’t until he remembered Whizzer sitting on the floor that he was shaken out of his trance. Rather than helping the brunette up, he slid down the lockers and sat next to him.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Whizzer was playing with the zipper on his leather jacket and the look of defeat on his face made Marvin’s insides twist uncomfortably. “It happens a lot, it’s not like it’s not gonna happen again.”

“Are you okay?” Marvin found the question leaving his lips before he thought about it as he stared at the sullen look on the boy sitting next to him’s face. Whizzer hesitated, chewing on his lip as if in thought.

“I’m the only openly gay kid at a high school in Pennsylvania, I don’t think…” Whizzer trailed off; he stopped fidgeting and let his hands drape over his knees. “I don’t know.” He was wringing his hands together and despite his efforts to appear calm and suave, Marvin could feel the nervous energy coming off the boy. 

“Why are you here, after school?” Marvin’s attempt to change the subject was met with a sigh of relief from Whizzer. Marvin used his left hand to rub where his right had hit his friend, if he even wanted to call the other boy his friend anymore.

“I was using the choir room to practice for the musical.” He stated, still wringing his hands in front of his knees, his usual level of nuance and energy completely absent.

“I thought you played baseball.” Marvin said, looking over the boy who was slowly coming back to his normal level of confidence.

“I do.” He nodded, bringing one of his hands up to rub at his neck where his collar had pulled and rubbed. “In the spring, but in the off season I do the plays. They’re fun and I’m good at it, I guess.”

“You guess,” Marvin chuckled, leaning his head against the locker. For a couple of minutes, they sat there in silence, reflecting solitarily on what had happened. Marvin knew his teammate wouldn’t let the whole  _ punching him in the face  _ thing go, but Marvin wasn’t sure what the consequences would be. At that moment, he didn’t want to think about what his teammate would do, so he took a deep breath and stood up from he was slouched, offering Whizzer a hand up. They didn’t talk on the way out of the building and they went their separate ways almost immediately after walking through the doors. Whizzer got his bike from the bike rack and rode away and Marvin got into his car and drove back to his house.

Marvin didn’t even think about the incident in the hallway until he returned to school on Monday and was called to the guidance office. While his teammate telling guidance on him was a better option than his teammate beating him to a pulp, Marvin couldn’t help but to be nervous going into the meeting.

He walked into the small office and took a seat in the uncomfortable green chair in front of the Guidance Counselor’s desk, waiting for the annoyingly peppy blonde lady to start speaking. She wordlessly offered him a mint, apparently a custom for the counselors, and frowned when he softly shook his head.

“Well, I’m sure you know why I had to call you out of class.” She folded her hands on the desk in front of her, looking all too solemn and grave for a high school guidance counselor who seconds later had been smiling as if she’d seen a puppy sneeze for the first time. “Brady Wyatt told us Friday afternoon that you had an altercation, is this true?”

Marvin nodded, biting the inside of his lip as she nodded back. “Okay, okay. If you understand that you did, in fact, have an altercation, are you willing to accept the consequences? Why did you punch Mr. Wyatt?”

“He called my friend a --” Marvin cut himself off, readjusting in his seat. “He called him a, um.... A slur. He called him something for being gay.” Marvin’s fist was clenched around the arm of the stuffy chair and he felt mostly reasonable anger welling up as he talked about it.

“Well, I understand why that would upset you, Mr. Brandt, but you must remember that violence won’t solve your problems and that your reaction was most inappropriate. I’ve talked it over with the other guidance counselors, especially Mr. Wyatt’s, and the principal... and we believe it best not to suspend you, as that would harm your studies, but you do need to know that actions like these have consequences. For this season, you are suspended from the football team. Essentially, you’re kicked off the team, you won’t be allowed to play in games or go to playoffs.”

Marvin’s heart dropped to the floor and his mouth was agape. While he’d never cared about football, he knew how his parents would react to the news. He had been careless and hadn’t thought about his actions. He didn’t regret punching the jerk for a second, but he knew he’d regret it as soon as he saw the disappointed look on his dad’s face.

“I understand.” He numbly nodded his head. “Can I go now?” As soon as he’d gotten the go-ahead to leave, his legs carried him out of the door and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. It didn’t help that the first sight he saw was Whizzer standing across the hall, waiting for him. He took a second while he was standing outside of the doorway to count to ten and force his breaths to come naturally.

“What happened? I heard them call you over the intercom during my study period, I figured it was something to do with what happened Friday. Are you okay?” Whizzer bombarded Marvin with questions immediately, almost overwhelming him completely. After Marvin was sure he could breathe again and would be able to talk, he started to walk down the hallway, not back towards his class, but towards the nearest bathroom.

“I’m fine. I got kicked off the football team, but I’m fine.” Marvin stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked, looking straight ahead and not at Whizzer.

“Oh my God, Marvin, I’m so sorry. This is my fault. I’ll go tell them to kick me out of theatre instead, they can’t do this to you, this isn’t --” Marvin turned to him and cut him off.

“No. This isn’t your fault, Whizzer. This is Brady’s fault and my fault for acting rashly. I hated football. Like, I  _ really  _ hated football. I’ll be fine, if anything, this is a favor. An excuse to quit. Thank you.” Marvin took a deep breath and walked into the boy’s bathroom ahead of him, leaving Whizzer feeling guilty behind him. 


	3. standing with shaking hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, I know how kids can be with rumors. They’ll say anything if they think it’ll take attention off them, right?”

Marvin walked into the bathroom and let out the biggest breath he could; he counted to ten and tried to draw in another breath, begging his lungs to cooperate with him. His breathing exercise was interrupted by a soft “hey” from another boy in the bathroom as he leaned against the wall. Marvin would be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping the other boy would be in the bathroom, getting high, as he always was. Since homecoming, Marvin had been running into Mendel in the bathroom whenever he was having a semblance of a breakdown. It had become a kind-of thing for them - if Marvin was having a breakdown and Mendel happened to be getting high in the bathroom, Marvin could talk it out with him. It was like a little bathroom therapy session and Mendel could tell that was exactly what the high strung boy needed. 

“Breakdown time or pee time?” Mendel smiled a cheesy grin before taking a drag from his blunt.

“Both?” Marvin shrugged his shoulders and walked to one of the urinals.

“What’s troubling you today?”

“Well, I punched a guy.”

“You what?” Mendel choked on the smoke from his blunt, shocked at the concept of Marvin starting a fight, yet somehow not at all surprised.

“One of my teammates was being an ass to Cordelia’s friend and I just… I punched him. I don’t know why I did it, but I did it and now I’m not on the football team and like, I don’t care about that. I hated football, Mendel, I hated it so much. Sports are…” Marvin hesitated while he began to wash his hands. “Gross. But my dad’s gonna be pissed and my mom’s gonna be disappointed and if the school hasn’t already told them, I don’t know how  _ I’m  _ supposed to tell them and I can’t do this, Mendel.”

“Stop, think, breathe. Marvin.” Mendel waited for him to finish drying his hands and put his hands on his shoulder, just like he had the first time they’d talked. “ _ You hate football. _ This is an opportunity. It’s an excuse for you to quit doing something you hate and focus more on stuff that you like. Hang out with your friends more, throw yourself even more into your classes, I don’t know. Use this as an opportunity, don’t get too strung out about it, buddy.”

Marvin took a deep breath, focusing on the feeling of Mendel’s hands on his shoulders, grounding him and allowing him to take in full breaths.

“Okay, okay. I’m fine. I’m fine. Like, great.” Marvin took another couple seconds with his eyes closed to keep his breathing in check. “Thanks, Mendel. Really.” He pat him on the shoulder awkwardly before walking out of the bathroom with a newfound air of confidence.

* * *

Trina walked into the cafeteria with a sense of caution. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her, but she was just glad they weren’t whispering anymore. She wasn’t sure why they had stopped whispering about her boyfriend being gay for defending the queers or that she was so repulsive that she turned him gay. Part of it could’ve been guidance interfering, though she feared that had only made the rumors worse - if everyone believed she’d snitched. She had an inkling that it had to with the new rumors spreading around Franklin High.  _ Mendel Weisenbachfeld got a girl pregnant through a blowjob, he’s like, the next Virgin Mary!  _ She had heard in passing in the hallway.  _ Apparently that stoner kid made weed cupcakes and gave them to one of his teachers.  _ She found herself strolling up to the table where Mendel Weisenbachfeld himself was sitting, twirling his fork around in his food but not eating.

“Hey.” She said softly, stirring his attention away from the tray of rancid school food sitting in front of him.

“Hey.” He sounded slightly shocked as he looked up at her. It was no secret that Mendel had a gigantic crush on Trina, but she was dating his weird therapy bathroom bro, and Mendel wasn’t up for crossing lines like that. It did, however, result in his stomach and brains turning to absolute mush whenever he tried to talk to her. “Um, uh, do you wanna sit?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” She gingerly took a seat in front of him, setting her lunch box down and taking out her food, smiling shyly. “Is-Is it true that you got your teacher high?” She couldn’t help but asking him the question that had been on her mind. The rumors she had heard recently about Mendel had been frankly ridiculous and she was having a hard time believing they were about the sheepish, stuttering kid in front of her.

“Um, to be honest, no, I really didn’t.”

“Oh, I know how kids can be with rumors. They’ll say anything if they think it’ll take attention off them, right?” Trina felt more than bad for Mendel now, if he was being honest that they weren’t true.

“Oh, no, _ I _ said that I did that.” Mendel confessed, trying not to focus on the shocked and confused look on Trina’s face. “I, um… I heard a bunch of people saying really not nice things about… you.” Trina’s face immediately shifted to a mix of worry and confusion. “And -- And I figured, you know, if they had something else to talk about, then they wouldn’t talk about you. And I don’t care what people think about me, anyways, so…”

Trina didn’t know what to say. She opened her mouth to respond, but her brain couldn’t function enough to come up with a sensible reply.  _ He had said those things about himself for her? _ She had to admit it was a little weird, but she was flattered and ultimately thought it was a nice gesture. “That’s um…” She halted, trying desperately of something to say to the boy. “That’s really sweet, Mendel. Thank you.”

They sat for the rest of the lunch period together, idly talking about small things and how they each were doing, but for at least a little bit, Trina wasn’t thinking about Marvin or how Marvin was ignoring her or how everyone else in the school was certain that Marvin couldn’t love her. Mendel made her feel like her time was valued and as if he was glad to be spending time with her, like it wasn’t a chore. For the first time in a while, Trina was genuinely laughing and happy and it was thanks to the boy who had put his own reputation on the line for her own personal feelings.


	4. remember this moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a hitch in his breath, Marvin tossed the jersey into the flames and felt his entire body relax. As he watched the flames envelop his jersey and felt that part of his life come to a close, he backed up until he was sitting on Mendel’s porch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is Highkey Garbage and im tired but i needed to get another chapter of this done and get past this part so i can get to more Beefy Stuff (believe it or not i do have a plan for this fic rip). i do hope y'all enjoy it and give me feedback! please! (also whizzer is,,,,,,,, probably not in character at all,,,, he's one of the only characters i dont trust myself to write sorry y'all)

Exactly a week after the punch that got him kicked off the football team, Marvin found himself pulling into Mendel’s driveway. They had never hung out outside of school, or even outside of the bathroom, but there he was, putting his car in park. He grabbed his football jersey from the passenger seat and got out of the car, calmly walking up to the door of the average sized house and knocking. While he waited for the other boy, he noted that the house wasn’t very big, but it wasn’t not nice, either. Marvin looked back down at the doorway when the door swung open to reveal his not-quite-friend standing in the doorway clad in sweatpants and a Backstreet Boys t-shirt. If Marvin thought the t-shirt was weird, he didn’t say anything about it.

“Hey.” Marvin half-smiled awkwardly, waiting for Mendel to let him in.

“Hey, buddy.” Mendel stepped to the side, letting Marvin past and closing the door behind him before leading him into the living room of his house. Under normal circumstances, they wouldn’t dream of hanging out outside of their bathroom therapy sessions, but during Marvin’s last semi-breakdown over the fight, Mendel had suggested that he do something to get rid of football in his life for good. Or at least for now. While Marvin had no plans of rejoining the football team, there was no telling what his parents wanted him to do. For now, he would take Mendel’s advice and hope for the best. “I’ve got wood set up for a fire outside, all you’ve gotta do is light it and throw the jersey in. Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Um…” Marvin gripped the jersey tighter in his hands and looked down at it. While it was true that football had been part of his life for a long time and, miraculously, his parents hadn’t found out about his removal from the team, yet, Marvin wanted to be able to move on from it now. “Yes. Yes, I’m doing this. Grab the matches.”

Marvin walked past Mendel and out of the sliding glass door that led to his backyard. Mendel followed him shortly after with a box of matches and handing them to Marvin. “I’m proud of you, buddy.”

With a sigh, Marvin set his jersey down on the ground and slid the box of matches out, grabbing one from inside. With a flick of his wrist, the match was lit and he tossed it on the pile of wood, watching the tinder laid within it burst into flames. He bent down and picked up the jersey, staring at it for a solid thirty seconds as he took deep breaths.  _ You can do this. Football does not define you.  _ With a hitch in his breath, Marvin tossed the jersey into the flames and felt his entire body relax. As he watched the flames envelop his jersey and felt that part of his life come to a close, he backed up until he was sitting on Mendel’s porch.

“You okay, bro?” Mendel took a blunt out of the pocket of his sweatpants, carefully reaching the tip into the flames to light it. He sat down next to Marvin and took a drag.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I will be fine. Eventually.” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, this is all just… not what I expected from this year. If you had told me last year that I would be burning my jersey, I would’ve laughed, but… Here I am.” Marvin was finding it harder to breathe as he clasped his hands together in his lap and he was coming to terms with how this would actually affect him. “And I don’t - I haven’t told my parents about getting kicked off, it’s a damn miracle that the school hasn’t already told them and -- shit, I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay.” Mendel started to talk calmly, having gotten used to Marvin’s neurosis and panicking, listening to him rant for minutes at a time in the school bathroom. “Listen, I know you’re upset, that’s pretty easy to tell, but you can’t let this get to you. I get it if your parents are gonna be upset, but that’s not gonna change if you delay telling them or don’t tell them. They’re gonna find out, it’s better that it comes from you and that it comes soon, okay? Do you feel better without the jersey?”

Marvin paused in thought, taking a deep breathe to fill his begging lungs. “Yeah, I do.” He nodded his head and let out a small laugh. “I really do, thank you, Mendel.” Mendel placed his hand on Marvin’s shoulder with what could only be described as a proud smile and brought the other boy in for an awkward side hug.

“It’s gonna be okay, you’ll figure it out. Just take a breath and try and relax. Go home, take a nap, do some homework, I don’t know, whatever you do to blow off steam.”

With Mendel’s parting, albeit not very helpful, advice, Marvin said goodbye and left to go home with the heavy thought of telling his parents on his mind. As he drove down his own street, he saw a figure walking in the same direction as his car not too far ahead. It wasn’t unusual to see people walking around, as it was a suburban neighborhood, but it was unusual to see someone walking around past eight at night and especially when that person looked vaguely familiar to Marvin. As he pulled up next to the figure, he recognized the sharp bone structure and perfect hair and immediately made the decision to stop and pull over.

“Whizzer?” He said the boy's name, hoping to draw his attention as he rolled down his window. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Whizzer replied, looking strangely shy for the charismatic boy that Marvin knew.

“You okay? It’s getting a little late for a walk.” Marvin squinted through the darkness at the other boy. He was wearing a ratty hoodie, which was unusual as he was always dressed as fashionable as possible, with his hands shoved deep in the pockets.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m just… heading home.” The small shake and uncertainty in Whizzer’s voice put Marvin on edge.

“Hey, get in, I’ll drive you home.” Marvin’s interactions with Whizzer were limited to homecoming, the incident in the hallway, and small hang-outs where Charlotte and Cordelia dragged them both along, but Marvin trusted Whizzer enough to ride in his car long enough to take him home, so he unlocked the door and waited for Whizzer to get in; to Marvin’s relief, Whizzer got into the car without any argument or resistance. “Why are you walking so late, anyways?”

“Um…” Whizzer looked at his hands, fiddling in his lap. “I just, um… fought with my parents, you know. Typical teenager can’t do anything right stuff.” Whizzer forced out an awkward laugh that made Marvin’s gut twist. “I just… needed to get out of the house, and I can’t exactly drive, so uh…”

“Why can’t you drive?” Marvin asked, letting his curiosity ask the question for him as he turned onto the next street over, not wanting to interrupt the conservation to ask for his address even though he had no clue where he lived.

“Well, uh, my parents never took me to get my learners and I can’t exactly… go without them. So, it’s been two years and I’m still riding my bike to school.” Whizzer let out a choked laugh, resting his arm against the window and, in turn, resting his head against his arm.

“Jeez… I could give you rides, if you want?” Marvin offered, looking at the boy who had relaxed significantly against the window. “Where do you live?”  

“Just two blocks that way.” Whizzer used his left arm to point towards the driver’s side of the car, which would be to Marvin’s left. “That would be great, if you really wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not. I’ll pick you up on Monday, okay?”

Marvin drove around chatting with Whizzer  for quite a bit more time before finally pulling up by his house and dropping him off for the night. He quickly scribbled his phone number on an old fast food napkin for Whizzer, in case anything about the plans to pick him up monday changed, and he pulled off with the ghost of a smile on his face. If he hadn’t known before, he definitely knew now how much Whizzer Brown would take his carefully constructed life and throw it all off balance.


End file.
